Kurtty Marmalade
by Latifah27
Summary: a songfic, parody of 'lady marmalade' from moulin rouge. not for kurtty fans(edited because of new rule on script-fics... at least i think they were banned...) and it is part poetry, with some plot to it
1. The Parody

Author's note: this is a parody about people getting tired of the Kurtty fics. I wrote 'ja' instead of 'ya', because I'm playing on Kurt's nationality. I myself don't have any problem with Kurttys, but I like the 'Mary-Sue' fics better. Enjoy!  
  
Kurtty Marmalade  
  
Parody of 'Lady Marmalade(the Moulin Rouge Version)'

It was 'Talent-Night' at Bayville high, and the girls from the Xavier Institute, along with Ororo, decided to put on a show. Little did they know that it was not a good idea to do that after watching 'Moulin Rouge' and listening to songs like 'The Bum Bum Song' and anything by "Weird Al" Yankovic, and eating bag after bag of cinnamon-imperials.

The girls were now dressed in some weird clothing remaniscent of what the performers of 'Lady Marmalade(the Moulin Rouge-Version)' wore, and they were getting funny stares. Of course, Rogue was a little more comfortable in her clothes, but she was worried about Kitty, who had way too many cinnamon-imperials, and had eaten a whole can of frosting and drank a whole bottle of pepsi.  
  
Kitty Pryde started mumbling, "Like, where's all my soul sistas?  
lemme hear ya'll flow sistas"  
  
"Hey sista, go sista,  
soul sista, flow sista  
Hey sista, go sista,  
soul sista, flow sista," the others started singing.  
  
Jean Gray began: "He met Kitty Pryde down at old Bayville High  
Struttin' her stuff for her guy  
She said, "Hello, hey, Kurt! You wanna give it a go? Oh!" "Uh huh," Kitty grunted before they all sang the bridge:  
  
"Kitty, Kitty, ja ja nyah nyah" "like, hey hey," Kitty added.  
"Kitty, Kitty, ja ja yeach!  
Chocka, choke-alotta ja ja" "like, oh yeah," Kitty grunted again.  
  
"No more Kurtty fan-fics please!" they all sang.  
  
"Like, what what, what what?" Kitty mumbled, as Jean sang "Ooh oh"  
  
Then they all sang the chorus:  
"No more Kurtty fan-fics for moi, uh uh  
No more Kurtty fan-fics for moi" And Kitty mumbled, "Like, yeah yeah yeah yeah"  
  
After that, it was Rogue's turn: "He bamfed! in her room while she freshened up  
boy scared her half to death  
but it's a Kurtty so you know how it ends, Yeah"  
  
They sang the chorus a second time: "Kitty, Kitty, ja ja nyah nyah" "like, nyah nyah nyah!" Kitty grunted.  
"Kitty, Kitty, ja ja yeach!"  
"like, ohooh yea yeah," the phasing mutant added.  
"Chocka, choke ja ja" which Kitty punctuated with her grunts "like, yeah yeah"  
  
Then for the refrain again: "No more Kurtty fan-fics please!"  
  
They all sang the chorus again: "No more Kurtty fan-fics for moi, uh uh! (no way! like, what what what)  
No more Kurtty fan-fics for moi,"  
  
Then Kitty began her rap: "Like, yeah, yeah uh They come through with more of the same old stuff  
I let 'em know, I'm sick & tired like, I had about enough (uh)  
I'm an independant muntant, some mistake me for a whore, they're sayin'  
"Why make 'em friends, like, when they could be more?"  
I disagree  
with all that & I'm sorry,  
I'ma clean his clock if he ever tries to paw me  
be original and like, get a clue  
I'm not a prostitute from the Moulin Rouge"  
  
"Hey sista, go sista, betta watch our show, sista," the others sang, giving Kitty time to think up a conclusion, which she did:  
  
"When you write me, like, give me some class  
no more skank, girls, gimme a break when ya write the-"  
  
Then came the second bridge: "Kitty, Kitty, ja ja, Chocka, choke-alotta, like what?  
No more Kurtty fanfics please!"  
  
They continued: "Kurtty fics... No more Kurtty fics... Kurtty fics..."  
  
[Ororo sang, in her rich voice: "Hey Hey Hey! Touch of his fur feeling silky smooth  
shedding all over her bed, alright!  
Just another fanfic with Kurt & Kitty Pryde"  
"No-no-more!" everyone sang, shuddering a little.  
  
"Now they make love, do it 9-to-5," Rogue began.  
Jean jumped in, "She'll have his kid's, be his wife"  
Ororo finished, "You know it's gonna happen, they're doin' it again,"  
"Bore-bore-bore" they all sang  
  
"Kitty, Kitty, ja ja nyah nyah (nyah nyahea yeah)  
Kitty, Kitty, ja ja yeach (ooh)  
Chocka, choke-lotta ja ja (like yeah)"  
  
"No more Kurtty fanfics please!"  
  
Then they sang the chorus once more:  
"No more Kurtty fanfics for moi, uh, uh, (like, no way!)  
No more Kurtty fanfics for moi (all my mutants yeah)  
No more Kurtty fanfics for moi, cest soir (like, duh!)  
No more Kurtty fanfics for moi (like, c'mon! uh)"  
  
Mystique appeared, and started mumbling the names of the singers: "Ororo" "oh yeaeaa oh," Storm sang, as if on cue.  
"Rogue," Mystique continued, to which Rogue sang "No more Kurtty fics"  
"Kitty Pryde"  
"Like, hey hey uh uh uh uh," Kitty grunted.  
"Jean Gray"  
"Oh oh oooo," the young telepath sang.  
"Rockwilder baby," Mystique mumbled, even though the words didn't make sense to her.  
But whoever was singing "baby" didn't care.  
"Bayville High," the shapeshifter continued, and heard one of the students sing "Oh"  
"Mystique here..." Mystique said, even though it was obvious who she was since she was in her natural form.  
  
"No more Kurtty fanfics for moi!" everyone sang, finishing with a "Yes-ah!"

Then they all almost blacked out, having gotten little or no sleep the other night. And everyone in the audience was wondering what they had seen. The whole school was seriously weirded out, having seen Mystique in her true form, and hearing all this banter about 'Kurttys'. Well, that's what you get when you eat all that sugar before 'Talent-Night'...


	2. Afterwards

The girls of Bayville High breathed a sigh of relief. They had done a funny parody, and everyone was rolling in the aisles. The problem was, the studens now knew their identities. What were they to do?

"No problem," Professor X said.

He put his hand to his head, and wiped their minds.

"Like, wow! Just like that!" Kitty shouted.

"And if they ever see you performing that again, it'll be just as funny as the last time"

"And maybe you'll see that I'm not all that bad," Mystique added.

There was a long pause.

"Let's not get too carried away," Jean said.

Then everyone laughed.

****

Author's notes: had to change this fic so it wouldn't be a script. And I added this chapter so everyone would see the new version of my most popular work. I even corrected the 'cest soire'. As you can see, I know very little french.

-Latifah27


End file.
